COMIC RELIEF

Till death do us part“I want a divorce”!“But you made a vow in the church that we remain together till death do us part.”“I guess you are right. Very well, go ahead and drink up the tea I made for you.” A nice easy jobA Sergeant was addressing a squad of 25 and said: “I have a nice easy job for the laziest man here.“Put up your hand if you are the laziest.”When 24 men raised their hands, the Sergeant asked the other man: “Why didn’t you raise your hand?”The man replied: “Too much trouble raising the hand, Sarge.” Your callThrough the pitch-black night, the captain sees a light dead ahead on a collision course with his ship. He sends a signal: “Change your course ten degrees east.” The light signals back: “Change yours, ten degrees west.”  Angry, the captain sends: “I’m a Navy captain! Change your course, sir!” “I’m a seaman, second class,” comes the reply. “Change your course, sir.”  Now the captain is furious. “I’m a battleship! I’m not changing course!” There’s one last reply. “I’m a lighthouse. Your call.”The man approached a very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, “You know, I’ve lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?” “Why?” “Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere.” 

from The News International - US http://bit.ly/2RPWc8o