Letters

Dear Professor,I am a 28-year-old guy. I belong to a business family and in our community all boys join their fathers as soon as they complete matriculation or O-levels. I was lucky because I had two older brothers already working with my father, so I was allowed to complete my A-levels before being ordered to join the family business. I am doing very well but I feel bad about not being allowed to pursue higher education. Last month, I got engaged to my cousin who is doing MBA. The difference in education is bothering me a lot. My cousin probably was not given any choice by her parents; we are not allowed to marry outside community. Most of the girls in our community are highly educated, but men are lucky if they do matriculation. It’s unfair to girls and I have seen my own sister, who is a dentist, being treated like dirt by her uneducated husband. I don’t want my wife to not respect me, but accept me only because she has no other option. This situation has been affecting me badly, but I don’t know what I can do to spare my fiance. Breaking engagement is not an option for either of us. I want to live a happy married life, which is only possible if my wife is happy with me. How can she respect a high school guy when she is a professional? What can I do to make our life pleasant at least?Disturbed and HopelessDear Disturbed and Hopeless,Having a professional degree does not necessarily guarantee happiness in marital relationship. Education is no doubt extremely important, but it’s one’s basic decency and humanity that come into play in every relationship. Many degree holders treat their wives badly, and uneducated men have been seen to be caring husbands. So don’t let that MBA degree awe you. You seem to be an enlightened young man and by treating your wife with love and respect, you can live a happy married life. Have you considered pursuing further education privately? In case you don’t want to study as a private candidate, you can join a university. Many young men from business families take courses they can fit in, in their free time. I am sure it won’t be a big problem to take few hours for this twice or thrice a week.

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