Letters

Dear Professor,I am a 19-year-old girl. My mother and father are divorced and I live with my mother. My problem is that my mother gets furious over little things. My mother asked me to go with her for shopping but I refused. This, unfortunately, made her extremely angry with me. She told me to go to my father’s place and not to come back. She said that she didn’t want to see my face and a lot of other hurtful stuff. I felt really hurt, but I didn’t say a single word. The thing is that I cannot go to my father’s place because my college is very far from there. What should I do? Please help me.Stressed DaughterDear Stressed Daughter,Being a single parent is not easy for a woman; she feels insecure and threatened, which sometimes make some women unstable. It seems your mother is still not over the trauma of divorce, and this makes her behave erratically. You live with her, which means she must have wanted you to be with her. Else, she could simply have told your father to look after you. When she asked you to go to your father, it was her insecurity speaking. Had you gone to him, it would have hurt her badly. She loves you a lot but loses her temper because she is mentally upset most of the time. You are still a young girl, but if you want to help your mother and wish for things to become better, try to show your mother how much you love and appreciate her. Maybe this would dispel her fear that you would leave her for your father. Just maintain your calm and be affectionate with your mother. Talk to her as much as possible, and try to do things with her to make her feel you need her. I am sure she would be fine.You said you don’t want to live with your father because your college is far from his home. But, does it mean that your father wants you to live with him? If yes, you should talk to your mother and spend some time with your father too. Your parents may be divorced but it doesn’t mean that you have to reject one for the other. If distance of college is the only issue, you can spend weekends with your father. Good luck!Problems that need a solution? You can e mail Prof. Nadine Khan at nadinekhan_34@yahoo.comWrite to Prof. Nadine Khan, ­c/o Editor ‘You!’ magazine, The News, Al-Rehman Building (4th Floor) I.I Chundrigar Road, Karachi.

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