COMIC RELIEF

I told my friend not to get too excited about turning 32, since her birthday party would be so short.

“Why would it be short?” she asked.

I said, “Because it’s your thirty-second birthday.”

New Year’s resolutions My New Year’s resolution is to help all my friends gain 10 pounds so I look skinnier.My resolution was to read more so I put the subtitles on my TV.I was going to quit all my bad habits for the New Year, but then I remembered that nobody likes a quitter.A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions?My New Year’s Resolution is to break my New Year’s Resolutions. That way I succeed at something! 

from The News International - US https://ift.tt/2MPxuAs